In 1989, when Harry met Sally, he informed her that they could never be friends because, “the sex part always gets in the way.” Sally was offended by the comment, particularly when Harry admitted that he couldn’t even be friends with an unattractive woman because he would still want to have sex with her.
Harry should have been a runner.
Over the years, I’ve worked out and run with a diverse community of people: young, old, Caucasian and not, athletic and not-so-much. And I run with boy friends, not boyfriends. There is not a remotely attractive guy in the pre-dawn, sleepy assemblage that greets me on Saturday mornings. (Sorry guys, it’s true…). They’re a bed-headed bunch with baggy running pants and more-than-occasional noises emanating out of various body parts. And then there’s the side-spits and the one-closed-nostril snorts. Eek!
Objectively I can look at them and see that if they were all cleaned up, they might engender an admiring look from a female. But then again, I’m not looking for an athletic suitor with a handsome build and sexy eyes. I’m happily partnered up in a long-term marriage. I just want someone who will run at my pace and who can engage in interesting conversation when the level of effort begs for a diversion.
I think exercise might be the ultimate activity for connecting humans without the distraction of flirtation. Friendship is created by the camaraderie of another human being tackling that annoying mid-run hill, or by a mixed doubles partner that saves your butt with a great volley shot. Your workout buddy at the gym will say, “nice job” at the end of your weightlifting set, and it means just that, not “you’re so hot.” Alliances form over united fitness goals, workout schedules, or (sometimes) commiserating over minor aches and pains.
All of this is not to say that you can’t find love at the gym if that’s what you are looking for, and it’s not to say that fitness commitment is not appealing. It’s just to say that exercise allows you to become friends with the opposite sex. Stripped of gussied up social attire or workplace banter, working out fosters relationships based on mutual goals and healthy values. The effort of exercise enhances spiritual connection not physical attraction.
Sorry Harry, Sally is dead right on this one. Now guys, if we could just re-think those one-nostril snot blows, we could really cement the foundation of our great friendship!