On Sunday morning when this email goes out, I’ll be biking somewhere in Oregon. I’m not exactly sure where. It’s impossible to describe how busy I’ve been in the last couple of months -- physically and emotionally. But suffice to say, I’ve been too busy to look at the five-day itinerary and the route. I hope that the bike outfitters know where we’re going so that we don’t get lost!
I can’t wait for the trip to start. It’s a trip we’ve planned with family and friends almost a year ago. A physically active vacation in a beautiful part of the country is just my thing. I’ll be with people I love and trust, and we’ll have a great mix of heart-pumping hill biking and leisurely pedaling through scenic vistas. Throw in a few stops at wineries and casual outdoor dining, and it’s the perfect escape.
And escapism is just what I need right now.
Vacations provide a respite from the intensity and demands of a life brimming with activity. But this trip feels different. I’m not just drawn to my vacation; I’m actively running away from a life that feels too complex now. I’m in full-throttle retreat mode.
My life feels too full and stuffy right now—just shy of suffocating. Patiently trying to push my five-year-book project across the finish line and work management complexities are just the tip of the iceberg. Lurking below the surface is much, much more. The enormity of what lies underneath is something I can’t manage right now. But I will – when I can find the time.
The good news is that I have no major life catastrophes. I’m not grappling with substance abuse, financial havoc, emotional dysfunction, or marital discord. And yet, I have some mid-life stuff to deal with, and it’s going to take some work.
I’m not just eagerly anticipating five days on a bicycle; I’m fleeing my Seattle life for just a bit. The beauty of vigorous outdoor exercise is that it abolishes your ability to dwell on anything other than effort, the sound of your breathing, the tempo of your pedaling, and the exquisite environment around you.
When I come back, everything I ran away from, I mean, cycled away from, will still be there. But I’ll feel whole and better equipped to handle it.