It is Saturday morning, and I reflect on a psychological landscape that feels painful, perturbing, and surreal. I am confronting both physical threats to my health due to the pandemic as well as emotional sorrow for a nation seared by loss, misunderstanding, and factionalized tension. It would be easy to hunker down and pull emotional bedcovers over my head and wait it out.
But joy is more resilient and persistent than that, akin to crocus blossoms emerging from a late winter snowfall. Happiness peeps its cheerful head out from beneath a dank curtain of uncertainty and melts the most stalwart negative heart. And this week was full of pearly gladness.
On Sunday, I was able to visit, for the first time in months, all three of my kids and their partners outdoors at a dog park. We threw sticks in the water for the newest grand dog to fetch, cheering at his youthful exuberance and impulsiveness. Another grand-dog, Lola, was adorable and inquisitive. For a time, we forgot about fear and celebrated connection.
On Monday, I settled a legal case that was the longest open file in my law career. Off and on for 12 years, I had battled on behalf of a client who was deserving, intelligent, and patient. And we finally won. As the settlement funds arrived in my law firm’s trust account, my client cried tears of grateful finality.
Tuesday was my birthday, and against all odds in this chaotic time, it was one of the best birthdays ever. I was flooded with emails, phone calls, text messages, FaceTime events and Facebook congratulations. Cards, flowers, gift boxes, and candy arrived with almost overwhelming rapidity. It was as though my family and friends needed an outlet to party – and my birthday was their excuse.
Wednesday was a ZOOM call with some of my besties, calls that are always chummy, but this one was somewhat more personal than usual. We explored, confessed, and laughed about our young married lives and the planned, and unexpected, pregnancies that thrust us into parenthood. These women are my rock; they are there for me in a heartbeat, and I hope they know I am there for the asking whenever they need me.
After work on Thursday, my husband and I received a text message from our youngest son, asking if we could drive to his nearby apartment and pick up some boxes to store in our garage. It was a happy relief to see him, masked and self-assured, and to know that we still represent at least a vestige of parental capability and helpfulness for him.
Out of the blue on Friday, our daughter in law, a native of Brazil, received notification from the United States Customs and Immigration Service that she had finally been granted a permanent green card, and that her citizenship test will now be scheduled. Years of impatience, and a current unsettling political climate, had cast doubt on whether this would ever happen.
On Saturday, as I write this post, I am 24 hours away from completing my Health and Life Coach certification from the Health Coach Institute, a curriculum that I began last fall. It has been absorbing, educational, enlightening and -- in the last few weeks -- interminable. I bask in the quiet glow of satisfaction and completion.
Happiness is a relentless and indefatigable force for the privileged among us that receive its bounty. I will never take joy for granted; the suffering and despair of others casts a daily shadow that even the brightness of this week could not obscure. My challenge is to fully open myself and embrace delight so that its most timid wisp does not escape into the ether.